Life is busy and hectic. But you do this with grace and tact. You lead a productive life that is only accentuated by the friends and family that surround you. Your peers respect you. Your parents brag about you. Your pet obeys you. Like Fred Astaire you dance through life with flair and charm.
But there is one thing that you miserably fail at with stunning glory, one thing that despite your best intentions you fall short, one thing that glares at you every morning and points its ragged finger in your face and declares “you are a pathetic human being”. That thing is your tragic inability to smoothly end a phone conversation.
With pomp and cheer we commence our phone dialogue. “How’s it going?” you ask with confidence. “I’m good” you smugly respond. Like a seasoned burlesque dancer applying rouge lipstick you silk your way through the peaks and valleys of your conversation. But eventually that trek leads to the familiar edge of a deep dark cliff…
“Alright well I gotta go” (said in hurried tone)
“Oh yeah” (nervously said wishing you had said it first)
silent pause (you quickly think of a phrase to match your friends tone)
“Okay, talk to you soon” (sounding as if it just rolled off your tongue)
“For sure, I’ll talk to you soon. Are you going to be at the Barbeque?” (a fake question stemming from the guilt of letting the other person go first)
“Oh yeah, I’m not sure.”
silent pause (wondering if that sounded sincere enough because you’re surprised by the sudden question)
“Are you going?” (quickly you throw the question back hoping this finally ends the torture)
“I think so…okay, I’ll see you later”
“Yeah, see ya later”
“Peace”
“Bye”
“Okay, bye”
click